OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Randomize
