Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
