ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
