Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
