The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
