I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
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I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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