i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize