first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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