Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
