I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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