1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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