Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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