Pappa wants mamma naked
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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