Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
