You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
