I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
foreskin is a definite game changer
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Randomize
