i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
