Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
