Who did Billy Mays play for?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Randomize
