I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
