bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize