Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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