2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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