brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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