It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
