I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
