Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
