i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
