i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
