its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
