I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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