just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
