That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
