You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
