I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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