I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
