Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
