I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
