I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
