College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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