Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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