Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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