Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
He did a backflip because drugs
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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