I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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