I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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