Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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