I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
