when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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