Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize