Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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