So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
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I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
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She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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