They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
