Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize