Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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