You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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