my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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