You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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