the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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