That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
