well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize