apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
