I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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