Define "chronic" masturbator.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
