Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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